Wedding Traditions
By Mary L. Peers

Weddings.  Just hearing the word begins a parade of images: engagement party, white dress, ring, flowers, and honeymoon.  And that’s the short list.  Wedding traditions have a powerful affect upon us, so much so that we find it difficult to break with them.  In fact, as time passes, there are many people who have an even stronger desire to honor and uphold them, in recognition of their importance in out lives.  There are some traditions you may or may not know about, having fallen through the cracks of time.  And there are others that you might find yourself partaking in without a clue as to how they started in the first place.  Here’s some information you might enjoy.

Proposals have a history all their own.  A few hundred years ago in England February 29^th, leap year, was considered to be a day that did not have to abide by English law.  This lack of legal status caused the day to slide into one that was also free of convention and tradition.  February 29^th became a day in which women had the opportunity to propose to the man of her choice.  Not so shocking by today’s standards, but liberating at the time.  A more traditional proposal involved men sending a pair of gloves to their loved one.  If the gloves were worn at Sunday church it represented a resounding ‘yes’.  And the term ‘spooning’ came from Wales where spoons were carved from wood and presented to a beloved.  If the spoon was worn on a ribbon around the neck acceptance was assured.

Bridal Showers actually emerged out of Holland.  There was a time when a dowry was expected for a marriage to occur.  If a father didn’t approve of his daughter’s potential husband, he might withhold the necessary dowry.  If the bride chose to go ahead with the wedding anyway, friends would ‘shower’ her with gifts that would thus comprise the needed dowry.  Although the dowry concept has disappeared, the showering of gifts has continued, and now represents the support of friends and loved ones for the bride and groom.

The engagement ring was at one time viewed as partial payment for the bride, as well as the groom’s pledge of commitment.  It has evolved into a symbol of eternal love, and is worn on the third finger of the left hand, which is believed to have a vein that connects directly to the heart.  Diamonds, often associated with the wedding ring, have been a symbol of strength and invincibility for centuries, and were the solitary adornment of kings until somewhere around the 15^th century.  The Romans believed that diamonds were the splinters off falling stars used on the tip of Eros’ arrows, and thus held great romantic power.  The diamond was actually discovered in India and believed to protect the wearer from evil spirits.  And in the middle-ages superstition held that diamonds had the power to reunite marriage partners that had separated.

The honeymoon came to us via Germany.  Mead, a drink fermented from honey and water, was customarily drunk for a moon after a couple was married: thus, the honeymoon.

Marriage is an important institution in cultures all over the world, and embraces a wide range of traditions.  In Mexico, the Roman Catholic tradition has 13 coins – for Jesus and the 12 apostles – blessed and presented to the bride and groom.  These coins represent the blessing and sharing of finances for the married couple.  In the Netherlands, an old tradition is to have the bride and groom sit under a canopy of evergreen boughs before the service, to symbolize the freshness of young love.  And a more recent tradition is to plant a lily-of-the valley on the wedding day as a reminder of the need to renew love each spring: A good idea for all of us.

One of the traditions in Scotland involves the washing of the bride’s feet before the ceremony.  The first person to discover the ring in the tub of water is believed to be the next person to marry: similar to our throwing of the bouquet.  And in Austria, couples used to tie their hand together then share the bread and wine as one.

Although the Bride’s wearing of white as a symbol of purity is seen throughout the world, there are other traditions as well.  Slovakian brides and grooms wear a brightly embroidered folk dress known as kroje.  Beads and sparkling sequins are sewn to the brides clothing to protect her from evil spirits.  Many cultures include gold in the wedding attire, symbolic of the bride’s value.  And crowns of flowers or gold are also seen throughout the world, in honor of the nobility of marriage.

In our era, the unity candle has become recognized as a meaningful tradition.  The bride and groom each take a lit candle and together light a third, larger, candle, in honor of the joining of their spirits in matrimony.  Unity celebrations also include the wine ceremony in which wine is poured then drunk from a single cup.  In the water ceremony the bridal couple pours different colored water into a single receptacle, thus creating a third color, and drinking from that as one.  And in India there is often a salt ceremony in which a handful of salt must be passed, without spilling, between the bride and groom three times.  The bride then exchanges salt with members of the groom’s family, symbolizing her desire to blend in with her new family.

Whether religious or cultural, traditions are a beautiful way to enhance the ceremony of matrimony, by linking us to the past as we step into our future.

Click to close window